Flying on Solid Ground

Letting go can be hard. We get comfortable in our current situation. We have a tendency to repeat the same behaviors and patterns even when we know they are not in our best interest. Sometimes we hold on to relationships, dreams, feelings, or stuff just because we can’t let go.  Is there something that you need to let go of in 2012? What scares you about that possibility? What situation do you need to create for that to happen?

For the past few weeks there has been a line item on my to do list. It is something that most of the time I find myself forgetting to do. So in an effort to remind myself, I put the simple task of ‘make a bad decision’ on my daily, hand written to do list.

Yes, that is 100% my list! And don’t you wish you had my hand writing?

But seriously! I find myself living in a world where I forget to step out of my comfort zone. I submerge myself in work and let Father Time slip past me far too quickly. It has been approximately 26 days since my last bad decision, so I was long overdue, and why not send 2011 off with a firecracker bang.

The natural adrenalin that occurs has to be the best feeling I have ever felt. And it is something I find that I cannot get enough of these days. There is just no better fuel for motivation than engaging in an activity that makes you feel slightly distressed. So I strapped on my brave girl pants, and off I went on my faulty judgement quest.

First things first.  We have SKYDIVING! (Yes, it deserves all caps.)

It was Tuesday afternoon, and my wanderlust was in full force. I considered blowing town for a few days, just for a change of scenery. Before I could blink and eye, I was on the phone with Skydive Phoenix booking myself an appointment for 11 a.m. on Wednesday morning.

Well, if I paid the deposit, I was committed. Right?  And seeing this city from three miles above is absolutely a unique view.

So off I ventured. And all by my lonesome, kids! That’s right! I will do anything alone. And fired up is the understatement of the year. I could not wait to soar above Phoenix and enjoy the bird’s eye view.

As I stepped into the trailer parked in the middle of the desert, my palms were sweating and my heart was racing. Filling out the legal contract that stated death and bodily harm at a minimum of 22 times had my hand shaking so hard I am not sure your could even read my name as I signed it. But there was no way in hell I was going to turn back.

I stepped into the jump suit I was handed and stood quietly while Marc attached my harness. Marc rocked my world. He engaged in polite small talk with me, and I instantly felt at ease. Okay, maybe not at ease, but I was now 180% confident in my life threatening choice.

We boarded the tiniest plane I have ever seen. Oh and of course, whose the lucky girl jumping first? You guessed it. I was seated directly in front of the clear door. Thank God I do not have a fear of flying.

As we ascended to our almost 5,300 foot destination, all I could think about was how I wanted the perfectly manicured subdivisions to be in shape the pot leaves like they are on Weeds. Cue Tiny Boxes right now!

While we were in flight, Marc clipped my harness to his. Clipped, people! Tiny little metal things were the only thing that could save me. I knew I should have packed my rock climbing karabiner for extra reinforcement.  And he told me that we would discuss the landing when the parachute opened. Well, his exact words, “We will discuss the landing when the chute opens because if the chute doesn’t open, the landing doesn’t really matter.”

Comforting? Actually it was.

For me this was meant to be an experience, and I was ready for it. But in no way was I prepared for the awesome that was about ensue.

As my toes were hanging off the side of the plane, all I could think was absolute nothing. My head was so clear that I cannot even give you an analogy. The wind caught us so fast I could not even blink, and we were northeast bound in free fall. The exact words out of mouth were, “This is fucking awesome!”

“If you are screaming, you are breathing.” Thanks for the tip, Marc.

The decent was breathtaking. I could see for miles. And I felt so free and alive. All the twirls, the spins and zero gravity made me forget how cold it was. And controlling the parachute is the most power I have ever held. My life was in my own hands.

We approached the ground at a much more rapid rate than I expected, but landed flawlessly. I stood up, brushed the dirt off and bit my tongue. Quite frankly, I now understand how someone can jump out planes for a living. It has to be the most accelerating experience anytime and every time.

So in 2012, I am going to let go of fear. I will stand tall and embrace every opportunity. There is no going back to solid ground for me.