Conflicted is an understatement. Right now my heart and my mind are out of alignment. My focus is not on point. And I am protecting myself. Hiding under rock comes naturally, but it is everything I do not want to be in this world. I am ducking for cover, and I am keeping my inner monologue to myself, even though I want to vomit it through my outer voice.
I have expressed my words countless times with conversations to myself. I have said everything I want to say. I just haven’t said it loud enough for you to hear it.
Part of me hopes your selective hearing prevents you from recognizing my Morse code signals, and the other half of me wants you to wake up.
To be completely honest, the outcome of the situation does not ultimately matter in my world. I am doing my best to be happy with me. I am still working on it, but I am getting there. So, whether you recognize what could be or not is up to you. Because what truly matters is that I preserve me.