This event season has been crazy. I have been swamped, and the thought of two days off in a row seems like a vacation. I have tried to stay focused. I have tried to keep my head in the game. My heart and head look like they were organized by the Container Store. I have done my best to keep it compartmentalized.
May was filled with highs.
I skyrocketed out of my box. I stood on a stage in front of audience over 800 and closed out Ignite Phoenix.
I co-presented two of my favorite people with a lifetime achievement award.
And I was awarded the Never Say Never award by ISES Arizona.
But May also kicked my ass, and June has not kicked off any better. A phone call from home means nothing good. And my spirit is broken.
I am trying to stay in a positive place. I am trying to find the courage to know that reaching out will end amicably. And I want to be the daughter I always should have been.
But I am terrified, to the point where my fingernails tremble. I am so scared right now. Every fiber of being hurts. And I hate myself more than I ever have. I have lost all of my fight. I am not sure I have strength to do what I know is the only thing I can do.
All of my containers are mixed and jumbled. And as much as I try to fall away from my past, it is following me.
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2 Responses to Every High Brings a Low
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#Twin, so sorry, I’ve been so swamped that I just now got around to watching your Ignite Phoenix speech and no lie, I’m tearing up right now. So proud of you! Anytime you are feeling terrified, please just watch yourself. You are amazing.
Something has vomited all over my calendar recently. So I 100% understand. I am beyond thankful for your never ending support. Lindsay, you truly are a replica of myself, and I adore the hell out of you.